“You’ll know it’s me when I drive through your town
I’m gonna ride around in style I’m gonna drive everybody wild
‘Cause I’ll have the only one there is a round.”
[Lyrics from Johnny Cash “One Piece at a Time”]
“So what color is it?” the Valley Forge High School security monitor asked when I pulled my 1999 Mercury Tracer aka The VF Alumni Patriots aka “Hillbilly Deluxe [minus the “Deluxe”] in to my alma mater for Senior Checkout Day last year; and my answer was simply “Yes”. Living up here in Brunswick Hills Twp. (aka Bruns-tucky where there are still rumored to be whisky stills still in full operation) the genesis of putting custom stickers on cars started back in 1996, when my grandmother from Ashland sold me her 1986 4 cyl. Ford Taurus [Midnight Blue color] with only 4550 miles on it (and still have it parked in the garage with 86,658 miles). I was going to drive it out to Iowa and trade it straight up with my aunt for her 1969 Mercury Marquis [Turquoise color, and also once owned by my grandparents], but soon after driving it – especially the way I drive – mechanical problems soon cropped up, and soon I got tired of telling the towing company where it should go, I made a sticker of my family’s mechanic of 35 years there at Yorktown Automotive in Parma Hts. and put their logo, address and phone number and whenever I called for a tow I just walked to a pay phone, told them to haul it to the address on the bumper and walked home. After adding a few more logos on the rear window for Donley Ford of Ashland [since they did a great job rust proofing it and the body still looks the same the day it rolled off the assembly line] it was finally time to get another car when the headers finally couldn’t be ground down anymore and decided to move on and in 2002 bought the used ’99 Mercury Tracer.
After transferring all of the stereo equipment, mechanical problems still persisted, so I again put Yorktown’s logo on the rear trunk deck, and continued on with creating stickers from logos of businesses that I have either worked for or patron locally to give them a little extra publicity. For my consultant work, I used to give local candidates their logo on the hood, sides and trunk area [to get around the 30 day sign laws – one couldn’t have signs in yards, but there was no prohibition on having signs parked in the driveway] to boost their visibility], always designing, changing and rearranging until deciding two years ago to decide on a final completed set design, since it takes about a month from the start of a design to completion [and since it is vinyl going on steel, the best temperature for application is above 50 degrees – I do use a hairdryer in the winter months for applications and removals, but one time three Decembers ago I was changing a logo on the rear plastic painted bumpers while applying the heat of the dryer to peal off the Citgo logo since Yorktown had changed suppliers and ended up removing a large chunk of white paint instead, which I covered up with white vinyl and a Valero logo].
All of the designs are logos downloaded [some of the lettering is done free hand using graph paper, and the other smaller block letters can be bought at Hobby Lobby and other craft stores] and enlarged on copiers. The Liberty Bell and VF Alumni lettering was taken from a mouse pad the association was selling. Byrne Sign Supply Co. up on the west bank of the Flats in Cleveland supplies 3’X 5’ vinyl colored sheets for around 5 bucks, and sometimes to get a different hue I sometimes combine colors one on top of one another and have counted 45 different companies in 7 different counties, including UFO’s Fall SuperSwap on the side windows recently affixed to the drivers and passengers windows [since room is “running out” on the rest of the car, and yes, Ohio Revised Code says that is a “no-no”, along with all of the lettering , especially the rule not allowing numbers to be shown on windows displaying 13.45, which I counter with “If you have $20, I have change.”]. In case some were wondering about who the heck is the L.T. Dalton [for Larry Todd Dalton] I put on the drivers and passenger side doors [since my name isn’t “southern” enough for this NASCAR rich area] for my first car I drove out of High School, the 1977 Ford LTD V-8 351 Windsor.
And yes, I do get pulled over – often [but have had no tickets in over 7 years]. A couple of times a month, mostly when I travel out of North East Ohio area with my consulting work [which the car also doubles as my office] the local 5-0 waves me over not for speeding, but to talk about what the heck it is that I am driving. Back in 2004, with just about 1/4 of the stickers I have on now, I was up in Parma and came upon a DUI checkpoint where the officer took one look at it, shook his head and waived his flashlight for me to pull in. “Oh great!” I thought as I pulled into the coned area, and rolled the window down with the car’s papers in hand. With the officer coming forward, he took one look inside at all of the switches and also at all of the stickers on the outside, and said “Sir, will you please pull your vehicle over to the side street while I call my Sergeant over.” So I pull it on over and now I am REALLY getting worried when the Sgt. comes over with 3 other officers and tells me to “Please exit the vehicle” to which I do and get ready for the car to be impounded. He gets in the car, looks around and said “This is awesome, so how much do you want for it?” and proceeded to light up all the lights and cranked up the stereo.
Top 10 List of What Officers Have Said After I Have Been Pulled Over
10. “My niece just graduated from Valley Forge” – Hamilton P.D.
9. “Where did all the seats go?” O.H.P. Brunswick Hills DUI Checkpoint
8. “What the heck is that?” – Dalton P.D.
7. “Why do you have a tire up there in the front?” – Montville Twp. P.D.
6. “So how fast does it go?” – North Olmstead P.D.
5. “I thought you were a cop car” – Mentor P.D.
4. “Valley Forge, Class of 2001” – Medina P.D.
3. “I'll radio on up ahead since I know [another officer] will want to see inside of this thing” – Ohio H.P.
2. “So How Much Do You Want For It” - Parma P.D.
1. “Now that I have your number, here’s mine” Tiffen P.D. “Honey Bear”
I’m gonna ride around in style I’m gonna drive everybody wild
‘Cause I’ll have the only one there is a round.”
[Lyrics from Johnny Cash “One Piece at a Time”]
“So what color is it?” the Valley Forge High School security monitor asked when I pulled my 1999 Mercury Tracer aka The VF Alumni Patriots aka “Hillbilly Deluxe [minus the “Deluxe”] in to my alma mater for Senior Checkout Day last year; and my answer was simply “Yes”. Living up here in Brunswick Hills Twp. (aka Bruns-tucky where there are still rumored to be whisky stills still in full operation) the genesis of putting custom stickers on cars started back in 1996, when my grandmother from Ashland sold me her 1986 4 cyl. Ford Taurus [Midnight Blue color] with only 4550 miles on it (and still have it parked in the garage with 86,658 miles). I was going to drive it out to Iowa and trade it straight up with my aunt for her 1969 Mercury Marquis [Turquoise color, and also once owned by my grandparents], but soon after driving it – especially the way I drive – mechanical problems soon cropped up, and soon I got tired of telling the towing company where it should go, I made a sticker of my family’s mechanic of 35 years there at Yorktown Automotive in Parma Hts. and put their logo, address and phone number and whenever I called for a tow I just walked to a pay phone, told them to haul it to the address on the bumper and walked home. After adding a few more logos on the rear window for Donley Ford of Ashland [since they did a great job rust proofing it and the body still looks the same the day it rolled off the assembly line] it was finally time to get another car when the headers finally couldn’t be ground down anymore and decided to move on and in 2002 bought the used ’99 Mercury Tracer.
After transferring all of the stereo equipment, mechanical problems still persisted, so I again put Yorktown’s logo on the rear trunk deck, and continued on with creating stickers from logos of businesses that I have either worked for or patron locally to give them a little extra publicity. For my consultant work, I used to give local candidates their logo on the hood, sides and trunk area [to get around the 30 day sign laws – one couldn’t have signs in yards, but there was no prohibition on having signs parked in the driveway] to boost their visibility], always designing, changing and rearranging until deciding two years ago to decide on a final completed set design, since it takes about a month from the start of a design to completion [and since it is vinyl going on steel, the best temperature for application is above 50 degrees – I do use a hairdryer in the winter months for applications and removals, but one time three Decembers ago I was changing a logo on the rear plastic painted bumpers while applying the heat of the dryer to peal off the Citgo logo since Yorktown had changed suppliers and ended up removing a large chunk of white paint instead, which I covered up with white vinyl and a Valero logo].
All of the designs are logos downloaded [some of the lettering is done free hand using graph paper, and the other smaller block letters can be bought at Hobby Lobby and other craft stores] and enlarged on copiers. The Liberty Bell and VF Alumni lettering was taken from a mouse pad the association was selling. Byrne Sign Supply Co. up on the west bank of the Flats in Cleveland supplies 3’X 5’ vinyl colored sheets for around 5 bucks, and sometimes to get a different hue I sometimes combine colors one on top of one another and have counted 45 different companies in 7 different counties, including UFO’s Fall SuperSwap on the side windows recently affixed to the drivers and passengers windows [since room is “running out” on the rest of the car, and yes, Ohio Revised Code says that is a “no-no”, along with all of the lettering , especially the rule not allowing numbers to be shown on windows displaying 13.45, which I counter with “If you have $20, I have change.”]. In case some were wondering about who the heck is the L.T. Dalton [for Larry Todd Dalton] I put on the drivers and passenger side doors [since my name isn’t “southern” enough for this NASCAR rich area] for my first car I drove out of High School, the 1977 Ford LTD V-8 351 Windsor.
And yes, I do get pulled over – often [but have had no tickets in over 7 years]. A couple of times a month, mostly when I travel out of North East Ohio area with my consulting work [which the car also doubles as my office] the local 5-0 waves me over not for speeding, but to talk about what the heck it is that I am driving. Back in 2004, with just about 1/4 of the stickers I have on now, I was up in Parma and came upon a DUI checkpoint where the officer took one look at it, shook his head and waived his flashlight for me to pull in. “Oh great!” I thought as I pulled into the coned area, and rolled the window down with the car’s papers in hand. With the officer coming forward, he took one look inside at all of the switches and also at all of the stickers on the outside, and said “Sir, will you please pull your vehicle over to the side street while I call my Sergeant over.” So I pull it on over and now I am REALLY getting worried when the Sgt. comes over with 3 other officers and tells me to “Please exit the vehicle” to which I do and get ready for the car to be impounded. He gets in the car, looks around and said “This is awesome, so how much do you want for it?” and proceeded to light up all the lights and cranked up the stereo.
Top 10 List of What Officers Have Said After I Have Been Pulled Over
10. “My niece just graduated from Valley Forge” – Hamilton P.D.
9. “Where did all the seats go?” O.H.P. Brunswick Hills DUI Checkpoint
8. “What the heck is that?” – Dalton P.D.
7. “Why do you have a tire up there in the front?” – Montville Twp. P.D.
6. “So how fast does it go?” – North Olmstead P.D.
5. “I thought you were a cop car” – Mentor P.D.
4. “Valley Forge, Class of 2001” – Medina P.D.
3. “I'll radio on up ahead since I know [another officer] will want to see inside of this thing” – Ohio H.P.
2. “So How Much Do You Want For It” - Parma P.D.
1. “Now that I have your number, here’s mine” Tiffen P.D. “Honey Bear”
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